No Steenkin' Melons: Nomelon's fanfic
my livejournal | my dreamwidth | email nevermelon AT yahoo.com
William: Please, if they're no good, they're only words but... the feeling behind them... ~ BtVS: Fool For Love
Bobby: You buried in that book again? ... You ain't gonna find the answer in no book. ~ SPN: The Magnificent Seven
Newer fic or any fic that isn't linked here can be found at my lj sticky post, my dw sticky post, or probably at my AO3 page. I just haven't got around to adding it over here yet, but I'll get there. Honestly, I will.
Supernatural
Sam/Dean
"What the hell do you want from me? I just find out that because I'm a freaking idiot, I've got a nasty little curse cast on me where if I don't have sex with my brother within the next seven hours, then I die. Whoopee for me."
Sam/Dean | no spoilers | rated NC-17 | 9 May 11 | 2,692 words
Sam and Dean stuck in a supply closet for two hours. However will they pass the time?
Sam/Dean | s5 no spoilers | rated R | 15 Mar 10 | 2,362 words
It's another sex pollen bug fic, this time with extra added chickens. I don't know either.
Sam/Dean | no spoilers | rated mild R | 22 Jan 10 | 2,646 words
Sam has been alone for three years when Dean reappears. Dub-con.
Sam/Dean | post s4 | rated NC-17 | 30 July 09 | 3,937 words
Sam catches Dean wearing makeup.
Sam/Dean | no spoilers | rated NC-17 | 20 July 09 | 1,159 words
Semi-drunken wall sex. Porn. Bittersweet boys.
Sam/Dean | s3 | rated NC-17 | 26 Jan 09 | 4,254 words
Sometimes it's all about the small moments.
Sam/Dean | s3 | rated PG-13 | 19 Aug 08 | 705 words
Wherein matters of pie theft are taken very seriously indeed, but brotherly love wins out. Pie and porn and, yes, this is crack!fic.
Sam/Dean | Bad Day at Black Rock | rated NC-17 | 21 Apr 08 | 10,141 words
I guess you could call this sex pollen fic. Or maybe giant flying slug-monsters made us do it fic. Or just, y'know, porn.
Sam/Dean | SPN anytime | rated NC-17 | 26 Mar 08 | 3,377 words
Silly, smutty SamnDean between hunts. Sam has to wear Dean's clothes.
Sam/Dean | SPN anytime | rated NC-17 | 21 Feb 08 | 2,580 words
Dean's no slouch when it comes to pissing Sam off, but by the same token, Sam knows just how to get under Dean's skin, pushing and pushing until Dean snaps. A dark tale of the lengths Sam will go to to save Dean.
Sam/Dean | s3 up to 3.10 | rated NC-17 | 18 Feb 08 | 12,960 words
Four anniversaries that Sam and Dean share. Future fic. This is a little bit silly, a little bit porny, a little bit sad.
Sam/Dean | s3 | rated NC-17 | 21 Jan 08 | 5,845 words
Coda to A Very Supernatural Christmas. First time fic. 5,400 words of angsty, teasing, shaving, porny Winchesters.
Sam/Dean | s3: AVSC | rated NC-17 | 28 Dec 07 | 5,400 words
The smell of Dean's blood. The scent of family, of home. Sam's whole world. Vampire!Winchesters.
Sam/Dean | s3: Fresh Blood | rated R | 12 Dec 07 | 800 words
The boys on the beach with the sunshine and the shorts and the lotion and the hunting and the angst.
Sam/Dean | vaguely season 2 | rated R | 25 Oct 07 | 10,061 words
Dean and Sam share an angst-filled moment alone in church. Wincesty.
Sam/Dean | post AHBL | rated PG-13 | 25 Sep 07 | 1,381 words
And if they did run out, Sam would tease the everloving fuck out of Dean with the filthiest foreplay he could devise until Dean makes sure they never run out ever again.
Sam/Dean | SPN anytime | rated NC-17 | 23 Aug 07 | 1,556 words
John Winchester/Jo Harvelle
It took John thirteen days to realise he'd been played in the worst way. (Sequel to The Nature of My Game.)
John/Jo | no spoilers | rated hard R | 27 Feb 11 | 3,726 words
AU fic where Jo has lived a very different life, and then she meets John Winchester.
John/Jo | no spoilers | rated NC-17 | 25 Jun 10 | 3,825 words
Jo and John, hunting and motel rooms. A life shared.
John/Jo | no spoilers | rated NC-17 | 25 Nov 09 | 1,727 words
A slightly AU tale of John Winchester laid up at the roadhouse.
John/Jo | slight s2 | rated PG-13 | 11 May 09 | 1,430 words
Other Pairings
Meg keeps coming back. Prompt: Meg/Ruby, slap.
Meg/Ruby | no spoilers | rated NC-17 | 30 July 08 | 624 words
Prompt response for innie_darling: Mary telling John she's pregnant.
John/Mary | pre Pilot | rated PG | 14 Feb 08 | 419 words
Gen
Ballerina!Sam. Nuff said.
Sam, Dean, Bobby | mild s3 | rated PG | 17 May 08 | 1,377 words
Coda to 3.11 Mystery Spot. Sam has to wear Dean's clothes.
Sam & Dean | 3.11 | rated PG-13 | 21 Feb 08 | 1,103 words
Dean gets cursed by a white witch. Gen crack!fic.
Sam & Dean | SPN anytime | rated PG-13 | 10 Sep 07 | 2,203 words
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Buffy & Angel
So maybe Spike has a type.
Spike/Riley | s6-ish | rated PG-13 | 14 Jan 11 | 790 words
Some time later, Buffy meets up with two of her old flames.
Angel/Buffy/Riley | post series | rated NC-17 | 7 Jul 10 | 1,026 words
"Tell me the purpose. Tell me what you feel."
Spike/Illyria | Ats s5 | rated NC-17 | 25 Jan 10 | 2,341 words
The lamest spell in the history of Sunnydale is cast on Spike. Xander gets caught in the crossfire.
Spike/Xander | vaguely s4 | rated NC-17 | 5 Sept 08 | 9,648 words
"Riley. C'mon. Cheetos? Nobody gets turned on by Cheetos. It's just not natural."
Xander/Riley | rated R | 31 Aug 08 | 1,722 words
Riley shows up in LA. Bumps into Spike. Demon-hunting and co-habitation ensue.
Riley/Spike | Post Ats season 5 | rated NC-17 | 27 May 08 | 69,000 words
Angel and Spike seduce Riley.
Angel/Riley/Spike | Ats anytime | rated hard R | 31 Mar 08 | 1,736 words
There's this giant spider, see? And it only eats cake, see? And, um, yeah: CRACK.
Xander & Angel | BtVS s2 or 3 | rated PG-13 | 1 Mar 08 | 2,929 words
Spike and Angel in the desert. With pixies. Stuff happens.
Angel/Spike | Post Ats season 5 | rated NC-17 | 3 Aug 07 | 3,493 words
A Little Bit of History Repeating
Cordelia gets to stay with Angel, losing something of herself and gaining an extra vampire in the process.
Cordy/Spike/Angel | Ats season 5 | rated R | WIP | ???? words
You can find this fic on my livejournal for the time being
I imagined Angel carefully mentioning the time when Faith was doing her damnedest to choke the life out of Xander, perhaps extending the proverbial olive branch, and Xander's instant gut reaction. This is the result.
Xander/Angel | BtVS season 3 | rated R | 11 May 07 | 1,756 words
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Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
The future isn't exactly everything they'd been led to believe.
Bill/Ted | AU B&T3? | PG-13 | 1 May 11 | 3,463 words
Ted has a most heinous job interview and Bill is a supportive best friend.
Bill/Ted | pre-movie | PG-13 | 22 Mar 11 | 1,583 words
Bill and Ted being awesome and making out backstage at a Wyld Stallyns show. This is totally a kissy fic.
Bill/Ted | pre-movie | PG-13 | 22 Nov 09 | 1,251 words
"I'm just thinking about our extreme lack of fortune in the babes department."
Bill/Ted | pre-movie | NC-17 | 2 Aug 08 | 2,200 words
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RPS: Jared/Jensen
Sharing a spoon.
Jared/Jensen | rated PG-13 | 9 May 09 | 729 words
After a rough hiatus, the boys go back to filming Supernatural in Vancouver.
Jared/Jensen | 3.16 | rated PG-13 | 11 Aug 08 | 3,802 words
Jim Beaver said that Jensen spent a lot of time crying while they were shooting the finale. Dean didn't shed a single tear.
Jared/Jensen | 3.16 | rated PG-13 | 20 May 08 | 805 words
Jared and Jensen making out in a trailer during their lunch break.
Jared/Jensen | rated PG-13 | 24 Apr 08 | 567 words
Jared/Jensen + Twizzlers
Jared/Jensen | rated PG-13 | 24 Apr 08 | 904 words
J2 pornlet. Behind the scenes of 3.12 Jus in Bello. Jared has a tattoo kink.
Jared/Jensen | 3.12 | rated NC-17 | 23 Feb 08 | 1,449 words
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Random Fandoms
True Blood: A Problem Shared
Eric figures out the answer to their problem. Frankly, he doesn't know why he didn't think of it sooner.
Eric/Bill | R | 22 Sept 11 | 1,217 words
Wolverine/X-men: Killing Your Number
On The Island, Logan gets trapped in a purpose-built prison cell with a kid wearing some kind of weird eye-mask.
Logan/Scott Summers | NC-17 | 26 July 11 | 7,952 words
Trouble arrives without warning and it's embarrassing how fast Hobbs loses control of the situation. -or- Hobbs gets a late night visitor in his hotel room in Rio.
Luke Hobbs/Dom Toretto | NC-17 | 15 May 11 | 2,347 words
Live Free or Die Hard
She doesn't talk much.
Mai Linh/Thomas Gabriel | R | 26 Jan 11 | 663 words
Swiss Family Robinson
It's the arrival of a princess in their midst that provides their conflict, though Ernst thinks perhaps he's the only one who feels it.
Fritz/Ernst/trans!Roberta | PG-13 | 31 Mar 11 | 1,654 words
Ernst can't bear it.
Fritz/Ernst/trans!Roberta | PG-13 | 19 Sept 10 | 1,135 words
Fringe
Five kisses Olivia and Charlie never shared.
Olivia/Charlie | hard R | 19 July 10 | 2,086 words
Doctor Who/Torchwood
It feels like the end of the story, but Martha Jones goes on.
Martha Jones | post TW s3 | rated PG-13 | 17 Dec 09 | 2,673 words
The Vampire Diaries
Alaric doth protest too much.
Damon/Alaric | PG-13 | 8 Mar 11 | 1,660 words
Damon is still pumped full of vervain and locked in the basement.
Damon/Stefan | hard R | 2 Nov 09 | 1,139 words
Back to the Future
Some things were just never meant to be.
Biff/Lorraine | NC-17 | 8 June 09 | 2,696 words
Moonlight
Trapped in a crappy hotel in the desert, there's nothing to do but wait.
Mick/Beth | NC-17 | 26 Jan 11 | 1,062 words
The last time I held her in my arms she was only a child. Over the years I've tried to stay close. Just out of sight, in case she needed me.
Mick/Beth | 1.16 | rated R | 28 June 08 | 5,935 words
Angsty romance with a side order of schmaltz. Beth's not stupid. She knows what she does to him. Every time they get close like this, she burrows a little deeper under his skin.
Mick/Beth | 1.13 | rated R | 2 May 08 | 3,519 words
Stargate Atlantis
John catches Rodney unawares.
Sheppard/McKay, mild Sheppard/Ronon | rated R | 27 Apr 08 | 953 words
Crossovers
"Oz went to Scotland seeking peace, but, in the way of things, found war instead." Might be just a leeetle bit cracky.
Adebesi, Said | rated PG-13 | 12 June 07 | 370 words
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